Packing for a trip away is never easy, let alone the actual flight – especially if you have a big buttom.
PLUS SIZE brings a whole new set of challenges. Anyway, this is just a quick overview of me flying from Rockhampton in Central Queensland to Brisbane for a weekend away.
What’s Normal?
By normal – I mean people who look great in a bikini…. Don’t you just love it when people brag about traveling with less than 15kgs? They trot along in their high heels and almost float along effortlessly guiding their very shiny American Tourister suitcase with matching vanity case…
Look at me – I’m on holidays…and I am so clever at packing. I only need a small bag and I will look a million dollars when I sit at the bar on a stool with my legs crossed in my flimsy black shift and perfectly spray tanned legs. Just getting on a stool can be a challenge, let alone sitting crossed legged!
Packing the port.
Do normal people have any idea the challenges PS women face when it comes to packing? Just throwing in jeans and a shirt and a couple of pairs of undies will take up 7kg…. One positive though for PS women is … those ladies with ample woman breasts can conveniently use their bras as suitcase dividers, ideal for socks, undies and even PJ’s for F Cuppers! If you pick them up correctly they can be like a bag even with handles.
“Why, what’s the big deal, I don’t understand?” I hear you say… well, let me explain …
Imagine a pair of size 10 jeans laid out on your bed, then lay a pair of size 24 jeans next to them…. Yes, the size 10 jeans are the same size as one leg of the 24, therefore more than double the material and the weight… now imagine this for every piece of clothing. PS women’s only real equity is toiletries, so pack those mini bottles PS ladies and let’s rejoice.
Once I have successfully sat on the case and stuffed it closed, I reward myself ½ an hour on Facebook to recover – gotta post a pic of my suitcase so people ask me where I’m going? An hour has gone past and nobody has noticed that I’m going away… will try again later. Bugger!
Checking in – smile sweetly.
On checking in at the airport I keep my fingers half crossed (I have arthritis in my middle finger) hoping I will be under 24kg – my case, not me silly. At the check-in, I smile sweetly at the check-in person, a bit of old fashioned charm can’t hurt when it comes to wangling a seat that will have more room. Seat allocation can make or break the entire trip, with the smile still stuck on my face, I try to get a seat that’s more suitable to us larger ladies, eg: not near the window.
Let me tell you, there is nothing worse than feeling like a Siamese twin with large FIFO in his fluoro’s, just finished his 7-day swing and who prefer his shower when he gets home. Pheww… He definitely hasn’t used 24 hr deodorant! (FIFO is a fly in fly out mineworker just in case you don’t know regional Australian speak!).
Time for a strategic approach.
Waiting in the departure lounge, I slowly scan the other travelers and try to decide if today isn’t my lucky day! I spy with my little eye – the perfect seating companion. A vertically challenged man with a very large gold chain reading the “Best Bets”. He has to be a jockey! – Obviously on his way to a specialist on Wickham Terrace to have knee surgery. (How can anyone squat on a horse galloping at 40kmh in a perfect pooing position without wrecking his knees – I ask you?) I am sure half the lounge is praying for him as well, as they try not to notice the larger lady in the corner wondering if she should try to duck to the loo before the flight is called.
At last, it’s time to board…. A new set of tactics come into play…should I try to get in first so I can get seated and therefore don’t hold up the whole plane, or should I hold back – so I can scrape sideways along the aisle when most people are not looking while they turn off their mobiles…?
I decide to hold back, this gives me the opportunity to quietly ask the flight attendant at the door for what is called a “fat strap” or seat belt extender as its called in airline speak. Of course, the attendant forgets, and you must press your button and wait for them to walk up the entire distance of the aisle (I am down the back to balance the baggage load) pretending to fold it up, but really calling for everyone’s attention in case others haven’t’ been as brave to ask for one. Maybe they are relying on being so jammed into their seat they don’t need it. Luckily, it’s only an hour’s flight, my bottom is so squashed in I hope I can get to lift the armrest if I get the Jockey?
The best part.
Up, up and away, at last, I can relax and contemplate how lucky I am to be getting away for a few days. I get to see some wonderful friends who love me just the way I am – special people who know the person on the inside. An older me, who is becoming more accepting of her body and daily challenges and know and understand that they are nothing compared to women who suffer in a domestic violence situation, women with health issues and women in countries that don’t acknowledge equality.
Despite all the anxiety and worry, the personal torture you bring on yourself – give yourself a break. Be Kind to yourself.. Just Be Happy, be thankful, and love who you are…especially all your differences. LIFE IS SHORT, and you can guarantee that most people don’t notice or even care about what you spend time worrying about.
Big Lady Hugs.. oh by the way… I did get the Jockey and some great tips… Love the Plus Size You.
If you have any traveling tips as a Plus Size person, we would love you to share.
Here’s some I found.
CLICK HERE for Airline Plus Size Policies in USA
CLICK HERE for useful information about our Australian Airlines and Plus Size Passengers
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